wedding dress

That was back then. There was a sort of universal belief, bordering on communal delusion, confirmed by that full-lips kiss on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, that something enduring was happening just because enough people wanted it to. Diana’s isolation, Charles’s doubts, his entanglement with another woman, and their fatal mismatch were all unsuspected. On the day the engagement was announced, February 25 1981, the Daily Telegraph assured its readers: “For a nation more than ever starved of symbols of hope and goodness in its public life, the royal example, far from fading, becomes more important… It matters more than ever that a Prince who loves should one day sit upon the throne of Britain.”

Today’s more realistic onlookers do not see the modern couple as symbols of anything. They are not going to be the focus of some specious national renewal. The genuine hope, even among cynics, is that William and Kate will be happily and serenely married, rather than that they conform to some 19th-century storybook notion of romance or its fateful 1981 variation. Kate is pretty, sparky and caring, but there is no expectation that she could, or should, become “the new Diana”. Comparisons, however odious, will inevitably be made between her and the glamorous woman who should have been her mother-in-law. But the really encouraging thing is how different the two women are – in every respect, except that they fell in love with a future king.

Kate Middleton is not some malleable teenage ingenue with a slender knowledge of what lies in wait for her. She has not led the sheltered life of Diana. She does not come from a broken home or seem to be less than perfectly grounded. She has had eight years is which to understand the peculiar demands of royalty and to demonstrate that, when the occasion demands, she is a pretty self-assured trainee member.

Since she and William were students, they have enjoyed as normal a relationship as they could possibly have hoped for – even down to the rows and the trial separation. William has protected his girlfriend, the daughter of a company director and a former air stewardess from Berkshire, from the worst public intrusion, and she has been fierce in guarding her own privacy. Prince Charles seems to have understood the need to let the relationship develop and be tested as his own was never allowed to do. All the signs are that Kate will be allowed to grow into her new role at her own pace, as Diana was not. She will be embraced by a wiser royal family not for what she might become but for what she is: an sensible, stable, loyal, intelligent girl who requires no special “grooming” to fit an outdated model of what a future queen should be.

It is natural for anyone who remembers the charm and charisma of the Princess of Wales at her most beguiling to draw comparisons between her and Kate at a similar stage of her induction into royal life. Diana quickly became, in her own words, “queen of hearts”. For all her faults of divisiveness and misjudgement – and perhaps because of the personal insecurities and unhappiness that became known later – she was one of the most dazzling women of the 20th century, a fashion icon, a role model, a devoted mother, a brave champion of unpopular causes.

If she had lived, she would probably have had plenty of sound advice for her daughter-in-law about the realities of life within the royal family and the need to remain true to herself. Her “presence” will be felt by everyone who has a hand in these nuptials, from Prince William down. But it would be a pity if the memory of her dazzling popularity cast Kate Middleton as some understudy.

The “Diana factor” is a positive one. Lessons learned from the Princess’s painful experiences of royal life has changed the landscape out of all recognition for her successor. It is difficult to believe that back in 1981, there was near panic that Prince Charles, aged 32 and apt to enjoy liaisons with married women, was still unmarried. There was endless desperate talk of him “finding a bride” (a virgin bride at that) as though it were some kind of mediaeval quest – which in a way it was. Duty and the health of the monarchy were paramount.

Prince William, by contrast, seems to have grown up relatively untroubled by the weighty consequences of his marriage, or at least confident enough of himself not to let them get in the way of his relationship. He is not, as his father seemed to be back then, desperately casting around for a role in life. It all seems a lot healthier.

In the coming months and years, there will be same insatiable attention paid to his wife as there was to his mother: what she wears, how she comports herself, who her friends are, what charities she supports and what she says. But it will be an attention that she and everybody else should be able to keep in proportion. It is wrong-headed, and quite insulting, to think of Kate Middleton as some kind of Diana substitute who could “step in” to a star position prematurely vacated.

On the 10th anniversary of Diana’s death, Prince Harry delivered a moving tribute to his mother in which he reminded people of her best qualities. He and William, he said, wanted to remember her as she was: “fun-loving, generous, down-to-earth, entirely genuine”. They are qualities that both the princes will probably value in a wife, but they are not transferable. Kate has a long time in which to establish her own.

We are all realists now. We’d all like a happy ending, but we don’t believe in fairy tales.

In the intervening time, duty may have lain more heavily on the future king's shoulders but the appetite for spontaneity remains.

Sleeping rough on the streets of London, in a woolly hat and hoodie, for a homelessness charity, or scrubbing lavatory floors during his gap year, the Prince has refused to be bound by protocol. It is a taste which has drawn constant comparisons with his mother, the late Diana, Princess of Wales, to whom he bears a striking resemblance.

Coming slightly less than a year after his parents' wedding, Prince William's birth on June 21, 1982, proved a global media sensation.

His father, the Prince of Wales, was almost lost for words, remarking that the baby looked "surprisingly appetising" with "sausage fingers just like me".

Joined by a brother, Prince Harry, two years later, his upbringing, though privileged, exposed him to normal life in a way unthinkable for past monarchs.

He was sent to Ludgrove prep school in Berkshire then Eton, and his parents strove to shield the young Prince from publicity.

Even now, as one of the most senior members of the Royal family, he regards the media with some suspicion, trusting a small circle of close friends and enjoying the fierce loyalty of his military comrades. It was while at Eton that William developed a reputation as a shy teenager, even as interest in his family's private life became more intense as his parents' marriage crumbled.

He was 15 when, in 1997, he was thrust back into the global spotlight in a way he could never have imagined, following his mother's death in a car crash in Paris.

The image of him towering over his 12-year-old brother as they followed her coffin remains one of the most memorable of the era. Although overt attention reduced after the tragedy, interest in the Princes never waned.

Aged 18 and with A-levels in geography, history of art and biology under his belt, Prince William embarked on a course similar to that of thousands of other middle-class young people, and took a gap year in Belize and Chile.

What glimpses the public had as he entered adult life – jungle training in Belize with the Welsh Guards or donning rubber gloves to clean floors – showed him far from the comforts of palace life.

At St Andrews University his quest for normality took him to a shared student flat where he relished doing his own shopping or cycling around town.

Initially feeling isolated, he toyed with leaving, but was talked out of it.

In a rare interview at the time, he laughed off his reputation as the world's most eligible bachelor, joking: "I've never been aware of anyone chasing me, but if there were, could they please leave their phone number?"

He explained his less than traditional approach to finding a future queen: "If I fancy a girl and I really like her and she fancies me back, which is rare, I ask her out. I don't have a steady girlfriend. Only the mad girls chase me, I think."

But his future bride was closer than even he might have imagined; Kate Middleton was one of his housemates.

Speculation about a romance began after the Prince was spotted kissing a girl with long dark hair at his water polo club's Christmas ball. Soon after, he was reported to have introduced a "Kate" as his girlfriend at a hunt meet.

Despite his reluctance to take the limelight, he was eager to make his sense of duty clear. He brushed off reports that he did not want to be king one day, remarking: "It's not a question of wanting to be, wanting is not the right word … It's a very important role, one that I don't take lightly."

While his brother's active social life drew negative comment on more than one occasion, William was careful to stay out of trouble.

In 2005, as his father was caught on microphone calling Nicholas Witchell, the BBC royal correspondent, an "awful man" during a photocall on the ski slopes, it was Prince William who diplomatically leant over and politely answered his question.

A few weeks later, as the Prince of Wales married the Duchess of Cornwall, William's prominent support – acting as a witness – did much to allay any potential controversy.

In recent years, he began to take on some royal duties. He made his first official overseas trip earlier this year, to Australia and New Zealand.

He is involved in a few carefully chosen charities, including the homelessness group Centrepoint.

For both Princes, a military career has offered the opportunity to serve in a normal profession while remaining out of the public gaze.

But while his brother served in Afghanistan, Prince William always knew that his potential value to an enemy made it unlikely he could follow suit. He left the Army for the RAF to work as a search and rescue pilot.

Prince Harry once wryly remarked that life on the front line was "about as normal as I'm going to get".

For his brother, the instinct is the same. On a recent visit to Africa he said he was drawn to remote parts of the bush because it offered him escape.

"The locals haven't got a clue who I am and I love that," he said.

As he prepares for a wedding likely to attract at least a billion viewers around the world, he might soon find that he is recognised even there.

As the couple disclosed that they had secretly become engaged during a romantic break in Kenya last month, Miss Middleton showed off the sapphire and diamond ring which the Prince had hidden in his rucksack until he proposed.

“It’s very special to me, and Kate is very special to me now as well, so it’s only right the two are put together,” the Prince said.

“It’s my way of making sure my mother didn’t miss out on today and the excitement and the fact that we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.”

Miss Middleton described the proposal as “very romantic” and admitted that joining the Royal family was a “daunting prospect”.

The Prince of Wales announced the couple’s engagement in a statement from Clarence House at 11.08 yesterday morning.

It was such a closely guarded secret that the only other person who knew about it was Miss Middleton’s father, Michael, who had given his permission when the Prince asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage when the couple returned from Africa.

In keeping with an 18th century law, the Prince also had to ask the Queen’s permission, but only did so during a phone call yesterday morning.

The Prince of Wales and Miss Middleton’s brother and sister were told little more than three hours before the announcement was made public.

Prince Harry, who also learned the news yesterday, said: “I am delighted that my brother has popped the question. It means I get a sister, which I have always wanted.”

Asked why he had taken so many years to propose, the Prince said: “I didn’t realise it was a race … but the time is right now, we’re both very, very happy and I’m very glad that I have done it.”

Miss Middleton said: “We have been going out for a long time now and … it just seemed the natural step for both of us”.

Sources close to the Royal family said the engagement ring, given to Diana, Princess of Wales by the Prince of Wales when they became engaged in February 1981, fitted Miss Middleton perfectly without needing to be adjusted.

The couple said they had already discussed having children, and Miss Middleton said: “I hope we will be able to have a happy family”.

The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were “absolutely delighted for them both”, a Buckingham Palace spokesman said but the Queen and the Prince of Wales remarked on the couple’s delay in getting engaged.

Asked for his personal reaction to the news, the Prince of Wales joked: “Thrilled – they have been practising for long enough!”

During a reception at Windsor Castle for leaders of British overseas territories yesterday, the Queen told one guest: “It is brilliant news. It has taken them a very long time.”

Although no venue has yet been decided, Royal sources said the couple, who are both 28, will choose between Westminster Abbey and St Paul’s Cathedral.

The Prince, whose parents were married at St Paul’s, is said to favour Westminster Abbey, where the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were married and where his mother’s funeral was held. He is also said to want the ceremony to be more “low key” than previous royal weddings.

Although bookies made July an even-money favourite for the month of the ceremony a potential clash with the marriage of Prince Albert of Monaco on July 9 means April or May are strong possibilities.

David Cameron was among the first to speak to the Prince to offer his congratulations. The Prime Minister was handed a piece of paper informing him about the engagement during the morning’s Cabinet meeting, and said ministers gave a “great cheer” and banged the table when he broke the news.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, who is expected to conduct the service, expressed his “delight” at the engagement announcement.

The couple’s first marital home will be the cottage on Anglesey which the Prince has been renting for several months near RAF Valley, where he is beginning a three-year tour of duty as a search and rescue helicopter pilot.

Miss Middleton, who will be known as Queen Catherine when her fiancé eventually becomes King, will receive her first title on her wedding day.

The Prince is expected to be given a dukedom, with possible titles including Duke of Clarence or Duke of Cambridge, meaning Miss Middleton would become a duchess.

Asked about the prospect of becoming Queen, Miss Middleton said: “It’s quite a daunting prospect but hopefully I’ll take it in my stride, and William’s a great teacher so hopefully he’ll be able to help me along the way.

“I’m really looking forward to spending my time with William.”

The Prince replied: “She’s very good at flattery.”

He described the couple’s relationship by saying: “Obviously we both have a very fun time together, both have a very good sense of humour about things, we’re down to earth, we take the mickey out of each other a lot, and she’s got plenty of habits that make me laugh that I tease her about.”

Miss Middleton added: “Over the years William has looked after me, he’s treated me very well, as the loving boyfriend he is, he is very supportive of me through the good times and also through the bad times.”

Sources said the couple had been discussing marriage for “two or three years” and had delayed the announcement following the death of Miss Middleton’s grandfather, Peter Middleton, whose funeral was last week.

Yet seeing Prince William and Kate together, as natural and relaxed as it’s possible to be in the frankly quite terrifying flashbulb glare of the world’s media, I was - at the risk of sounding soppy, or worse, middle-aged - suffused with genuine pleasure.

I noted her shiny hair and that sedate-yet-curvaceous blue knee-length Issa wrap dress complimented by the sapphire ring. How he looked reassuringly manly and didn’t clumsily (and tellingly) mumble anything about “whatever love is” when asked about his feelings for his future wife. Instead, they looked so darned happy that ping! David Cameron’s new Well Being Index shot up and hit the bell like a fairground high striker.

And you know, when Kate referred to William “looking after her” so well, I could have yelled at the television, waved a copy of The Female Eunuch and castigated her lack of feminist credentials. But I didn’t.

Instead, once I’d made a note to check the Issa website for her dress, I felt rather pleased that Waity Katy hadn’t hung around for years (and years) for nothing and a teensy bit regretful that I met my husband in the Girl Power 80s when Sisters Were Doing it For Themselves and anybody caught in the (traitorous) act of looking after anybody else was burned at the stake for crimes against political correctness.

The truth is, We All Love A Good Wedding. Well, all of us Who Are Already Married do. There’s something heart-warming about watching two people make serious vows in these trivial times, no matter who they are.

In our modern throwawayculture, fatuousness, disposability and ennui have been elevated to the epitome of all that is cool. So no wonder this simple, entirely unironic expression of love, partnership and commitment makes younger generations feel uncomfortable - there’s no gag, no punchline, no smartarse soundbite.

Does it make me sound old when I admit I felt sad when Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson crashed and burned? I was even downcast when Lennie Henry and Dawn French were cleft asunder, even though I find them both execrably, assininely unfunny.

Marriage isn’t easy, which is one reason why it’s so darned important. Look at the statistics and every trip down the aisle, no matter how hallowed or historic the church, how big the meringue frock, how tiny the flowergirls, represents a triumph of hope over expectation - just look at the royals’ own recent track record.

William and Kate both seem to be decent young people. Just last week, as rumours of an engagement gained a hold, I visited the Berkshire village where the Middleton family lives. Kate was repeatedly described as lovely and bubbly and engaging by everyone whom I met. So repeatedly in fact, that I had to scour a thesaurus in a bid to find alternatives.

Her single mistake up to now was perhaps not so much being at her boyfriend’s beck and call as appearing to be so. The partners of high profile people who are subject to all manner of demands on their time, know full well that for a relationship to work, something - or realistically, someone - has to give.

But now the longeurs are finally over and we can look forward to a little injection of frivolity into austerity Britain. Royalty is part of the warp and weft of the national fabric; at a cellular level we’re primed to respond to the thrill of the pageantry, the pomp and circumstance. Why pretend otherwise?

And while Charles and Diana may have been more glamorous, let us not forget that the heir’s subsequent marriage to Camilla Parket Bowles was met with an unexpected display of jubilation - more muted of course, given the backdrop to their wedding - but jubilation nonetheless.

Prince William and his bride-to-be have pledged to live quietly, blamelessly in Angelsey, where presumably there will be a helipad for those weekend outings to Mahiki and school-night cocktails in Kitts off Sloane Square (Kate’s favourite haunt, apparently).

Or maybe not. The pair may plan to forgo the Boujis Nights for the forseeable future and embark on the heir and the spare as soon as the last chord of the Wedding March has died away.

All mothers somehow feel entitled to pass crass-and-inappropriate comments on the begetting of other people’s babies, so forgive me, but it’s been ages since we cooed over a proper royal scion, and (sorry about this) Peter Phillips’ infant, due in December, doesn’t really count, now does it? It might make the pages of Hello, but I fear, no further.

But listen to me, I’m rather getting ahead of myself - see, that’s what a huge sparkly engagement ring does to a girl, even if she only sees it on BBC News on some other woman’s finger.

Would it be so wrong to bow to the inevitable and throw ourselves into the whole frothy gypsophila excitement of it all ? Let’s be honest, we could all do with a welcome distraction and Famous People Tying the Knot is a tried-and-tested update of the panem et circenses formula so astutely deployed in ancient Rome.

And talking of astuteness, perhaps Prince William was in fact desperate to plight his troth years ago but conscientiously - heroically - held on for the double dip to get down on one knee and, ergo, raise our spirits, if not our economic fortunes.

So let’s prepare to settle down for a lengthy gossip about the gown, the veil, the honeymoon and whether Kate’s entrepreneurial Party Pieces parents will be providing themed goodie bags for all the heads of state. I’m sure Robert Mugabe would love a monster pencil with eraser.

And there’s more; Westminster Abbey or St Paul’s? Who will make the all-important front rows? Will Cherie Blair wangle an invitation and then auction it on E-Bay?

I confidently predict there will be no end to the permutations of merriment for months to come. So let’s raise a cheer, and indeed a glass, for William and Kate as they celebrate their engagement - and in so doing, add immeasurably to the gaiety of the nation.

How they met

Prince William said that after meeting at St Andrews University, where they were both studying history of art, “we just spent more time together, we had a good giggle and realised we shared some interests.

“She has a normal sense of humour which is really good for me because I’ve got a dead sense of humour, and things happened.”

Miss Middleton said she “went bright red and scuttled off, feeling very shy,” when she was first introduced to the Prince, and denied stories that she had a picture of him on her wall as a child. “I had the Levi’s guy, not a picture of William, sorry,” she said. “It was me in Levi’s,” the Prince joked.

Living together

The couple were sharing a house at St Andrews when they fell in love.

“We moved in together as friends, we lived with a couple of others as well, and it just sort of blossomed from there, really,” said the Prince. “We just saw more of each other, hung out a bit more and did stuff.”

Asked if he ever cooked or did anything useful around the house, the Prince joked: “Define useful, Tom.”

“He did cook for me quite a bit at university, and he would always come with a bit of angst and a bit of anger if something had gone wrong and I would have to wander in and save something,” Miss Middleton confided.

“I would say I’m getting better at cooking. Kate would say I’m getting a lot worse,” the Prince laughed.

“I don’t give him enough chance to practice,” his fiancée admitted.

The Prince said: “I get quite lazy about cooking because when I come back from work it is the last thing I want to do, really. When I was trying to impress Kate, I was trying to cook these amazing fancy dinners and what would happen was I would burn something, something would overspill, something would catch on fire and she would be sitting in the background trying to help, and basically taking control of the whole situation, so I was quite glad she was there at the time.”

The temporary split

The couple spoke openly for the first time about splitting up for several months in 2007.

Miss Middleton admitted that she had been angry about it at the time but said she now looked back on it as a positive experience and admitted she had been “consumed” with the relationship.

The Prince said they had needed “space” at the time but he had always known Miss Middleton was “very special”.

“I wouldn’t believe everything you read in the paper but in that particular instance we did split up for a bit,” he said.

“We were both very young … and we were both defining ourselves as such and being different characters. It was very much trying to find our way and we were growing up. It was just a bit of space, things like that, and things worked out for the better.”

Miss Middleton added: “I, at the time, wasn’t very happy about it but actually it made me a stronger person. You find out things about yourself that maybe you hadn’t realised. You can get quite consumed by a relationship when you are younger.

“I really valued that time, for me as well … looking back on it.”

Asked if he had always known that they would get married, the Prince said: “When I first met Kate I knew there was something very special about her and I knew there was possibly something that I wanted to explore there. But we ended up being friends for a while and that was a good foundation because I do genuinely believe now that being friends with one another is a massive advantage. It just went from there and over the years I knew things were getting better and better.

“We went through a few stumbling blocks as every relationship does but we picked ourselves up and carried on. From where you have the odd problem when you are first getting to know each other those have all gone and it’s just really easy just being with each other, it’s really fun and I’m obviously extremely funny and she loves that …”

Miss Middleton went on: “I think if you go out with someone for quite a long time you do get to know each other very well, you go through the good times, you go through the bad times both personally but also within our relationship as well.”

Meeting the Royal family

Miss Middleton admitted to being “quite nervous” when she first met the Prince of Wales, but he was “very welcoming, very friendly and it couldn’t have gone easier”. When she met the Queen at the wedding of Peter Phillips, the son of the Princess Royal, in 2008, “she was very friendly and it was fine”.

The proposal

Prince William described how he decided to propose to his girlfriend of seven years during a holiday in Kenya with friends last month. “I just decided it was the right time really,” he said. “We had been talking about marriage for a while, it wasn’t a massive surprise, I took her out somewhere nice in Kenya and proposed.”

Miss Middleton added: “It was very romantic, there is a true romantic in there.”

“There is, yes,” smiled the Prince. “I had been planning it for a while but as every guy out there knows it takes a certain amount of motivation to get yourself going, so I was planning it, it just felt really right in Africa.”

Miss Middleton said she “wasn’t expecting it at all” because they were with friends. “It was a total shock when it came so I was very excited.”

The ring

The Prince decided to give Miss Middleton his late mother’s sapphire and diamond engagement ring, which had been kept in a safe since her death. He took it out for the trip.

“I had been carrying it around with me in my rucksack for about three weeks,” he said. “I literally wouldn’t let it go. Everywhere we went I kept hold of it because I knew if it disappeared I would be in a lot of trouble.

“You hear a lot of horror stories about proposing and things going horribly wrong, but I proposed and she said yes, so I’m really pleased.

“I thought it was quite nice because [my mother] is not going to be around for the fun and excitement so it’s my way of keeping her close to it all. I’m no expert on rings but I’ve been reliably informed it’s a sapphire with some diamonds but I’m sure everyone recognises it from previous times.”

Miss Middleton, who had given the ring back for safekeeping until yesterday, said: “I just hope I look after it. It’s very, very special.”

Keeping the secret

“The last two or three weeks have been very difficult, keeping it to ourselves,” said the Prince, “so it’s really nice to be able to share it with everyone.

“I was torn between asking Kate’s dad first and the realisation that he might say no actually dawned on me so I thought if I asked Kate first he couldn’t say no.”

Miss Middleton said she was unsure if even her mother knew about the engagement before yesterday, and there had been an “awkward” silence when she could not discuss it with her.

Learning the lesson

The Prince said he waited so long to propose because he wanted to give Miss Middleton the opportunity to “back out” if she found the pressures of royal life too daunting a prospect.

Asked if he felt protective of the Middletons as they joined the world’s most famous family, the Prince replied: “Massively so, of course. I just want to make sure they have the best guidance and chance to see what life is like in the family.

“And that’s kind of almost why I have been waiting this long. I wanted to give her a chance to see and to back out if she needed to before it all got too much.

“Because I’m trying to learn from lessons done in the past, and I just wanted to give her the best chance to settle in and see what happens on the other side.”

The Prince’s talk of lessons learnt appeared to be a reference to his parents’ marriage and the attention thrust upon the young Lady Diana Spencer when she agreed to marry the Prince of Wales.

He added that the couple had spent a long time contemplating their future lives as royal husband and wife. “We’ve talked about it lots, it’s always been something we’ve had a good chat about.”

Starting a family

Miss Middleton paid tribute to the support her own family have given her, and added: “I hope we will be able to have a happy family ourselves.” The Prince added: “We will take it one step at a time. We will get over the marriage thing first and then maybe look at the kids, but we want to have a family so we will have to talk about that.”

Diana

Prince William insisted that there was “no pressure” for Miss Middleton to step into the shoes of his late mother, the Princess of Wales.

Asked whether she found the Princess of Wales’s legacy intimidating, she said: “Obviously I would love to have met her and she is obviously an inspirational woman to look up to on this day.

“It is a wonderful family. The members I have met have achieved a lot, very inspirational. So, yeah, I do.”

The Prince added: “There’s no pressure because, like Kate said, you know it’s about carving your own future. No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes.

“What she did is fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny and Kate will do a very good job of that.”

Asked whether she was excited about the prospect of a future within the Royal family, Miss Middleton said: “It’s obviously nerve-racking because I don’t know the ropes really and William’s obviously used to it but, no, I am willing to learn quickly and work hard.”

William chipped in, adding: “She will do really well. You will do really well.” Miss Middleton said she was looking forward to having the opportunity to change lives for the better.

She said: “I really hope I can make a difference, you know, even in the smallest way.”

On her work

Miss Middleton defended herself against criticisms that she did not work but admitted that she “took on board” some of the comments.

“I know I have been working very hard for the family business,” she said of the Middleton’s party mail order firm. “Sometimes those days are long days.

“I think the people around home are supportive to us and those are the people that really matter to us, our close friends and our close family.

“I think if they felt that we are doing the right thing, you can only be true to yourself and you sort of have to ignore a lot of what is said, obviously take it on board, but you have to be yourself. And that is how I have stuck by it.”

Diana, in contrast, emerged as ''Shy Di''. She was demure and blushed as she posed for her engagement pictures, her eyes peering out from under her long fringe.

Both came to the nation's attention in see-through outfits - but in markedly different ways.

Eager to please, Diana posed up for the cameras at the kindergarten where she worked in September 1980, five months before her engagement to the Prince of Wales.

But she was oblivious to the fact she was backlit by the sun and that her legs could be seen through her long pale-coloured skirt.

In 2002, Kate strode down a catwalk at a charity fashion show in a transparent dress with black knickers and bra underneath, in front of an audience and future beau William.

When one friend once remarked she was lucky to be with William, Kate reportedly quipped: ''He's lucky to be going out with me.''

In contrast, in the early days of Diana's relationship with Charles, she ventured to say to one of his confidants: ''If I am lucky enough to be the Princess of Wales....''

She was 19 when she became betrothed to Charles. Kate, at 28, is nine years older than Diana was.

Better educated with A Levels and a degree in history of art under her belt, Kate is more worldly wise and on an equal footing with her fiance.

Diana was 13 years younger than the Prince of Wales, but Kate is five months older than William and they have already lived together at St Andrews.

She hails from a far steadier family background than William's mother.

Her parents are still together, sparing her any of the anguish suffered by Diana, whose own split acrimoniously when she was only young.

Her non-aristocratic background differs from the posh Spencer circles of Diana - whose sister married the Queen's private secretary and whose grandmother was a confidant of the Queen Mother.

Charles was under pressure to find a wife and Diana fitted the bill.

The Prince told a friend he was sure he could fall in love with her, but we now know his heart was already taken by Camilla Parker Bowles.

He had been heir to the throne since he was three years old and was well aware it was his duty to secure the monarchy's future.

Lord Mountbatten advised Charles to find a virgin bride and Diana seemed ideal.

Kate and William, in contrast, are not under the same time pressures. William is still only second-in-line to the throne.

However, Kate has not escaped speculation as to her traditional suitability as an untouched royal bride.

The Spectator magazine once commented that she ''may still have her V-plates intact''.

While Kate is a brunette and Diana was blonde, both are tall and willowy and deemed English Roses.

Both were educated at public school where they were popular and sporty, captaining the hockey team and excelling at tennis.

Diana had a warmth and openness which attracted Charles, something Kate is said to possess too.

Their backgrounds were clear of potential tabloid fodder. Diana appeared squeaky clean, as does Kate, although she was known to moon out of the window at boys at boarding school.

Both admired their men from afar.

Diana had a childhood crush on Charles while Kate had a poster of William in her dorm at Marlborough College.

Diana, at her first official royal event with Charles after their engagement in March 1981, was pictured arriving in her car at Goldsmiths Hall wearing a plunging strapless evening gown.

In December 2006, Kate unwittingly flashed a fishnet clad thigh as she got into a car after a night-out with William and Harry.

Kate, like Diana, is keenly aware of her actions in front of the media.

Press who doorstepped Diana in the early days found her friendly, Kate too has politely told photographers she cannot pose for pictures, helpfully giving them just enough time to take a snap.

She has endured intense press attention outside her own home, like Diana did, as speculation gathered pace that she could be the country's next Queen.

Before her own engagement, Diana once broke down in tears at the intrusion, prompting photographers to place a note of apology under her windscreen wiper.

Her mother, Frances Shand Kydd, wrote to The Times to complain about ''harassment''.

Kate is already of tougher sorts. Former newspaper editor Piers Morgan wrote: ''I've rarely seen anyone enjoy the attentions of a camera lens quite like Prince William's squeeze.''

Indeed, Kate does possess a confidence when on show. She was seemingly unfazed as she entered the Sandhurst parade ground for William's graduation flanked by his private secretary as everyone but the Queen and the Prince of Wales was already seated.

But her intention to keep the media at bay is clear. Before her engagement Diana invited a newspaper journalist into her flat for a chat and a cup of tea.

Kate is well aware it would be a risky move. She has kept quiet so far and, knowing William's distrust of the press, will continue to do so unless at official events or photocalls.

She already has her own lawyer - who also represents the Prince of Wales - and he swiftly set about writing to newspaper editors to protest at her harassment and pursued media outlets if he believed her privacy had been breached.

Diana became skilled at using the media for her own agenda, from her interview on Panorama, to the moment she turned up in a striking black cocktail dress on the night Charles admitted infidelity on television.

The cameras were still clicking years later as she lay dying inside a mangled Mercedes in an underpass in Paris.

As Kate prepares to enter the Royal Family, the public will be asking whether she is able to take up Diana's mantle as their favourite Princess.

Keeping her mouth shut and with a lawyer in tow, Kate is already acting on the hindsight that Diana's legacy left behind.

At least that is how I felt when my boyfriend asked me to marry him in July. I can quite see why you waited a month to announce your news because you can never claw back those first moments of delicious excitement when you’ve made this profound commitment to one another and no one else knows.

Once the news is out, there is no turning back. "Wedmin" takes over your life, keeping you awake at night as the multi-million pound wedding industry unfurls itself around you like a heavy duvet.

I’m so glad that William did the right thing and asked your father’s permission for your hand in marriage. Did he manage to keep their conversation secret from your mother? When my fiance asked my father's permission he granted it on the condition that he could at least alert my mother - although she still cried when I told her on the phone the following day.

But it’s great that your parents are well-acquainted with the in-laws - enough to go shooting together. According to the Debrett's Guide to Weddings, it is "inappropriate" to leave the first meeting until the engagement party, as some do.

Ah, the engagement party, I expect your friends are clamouring to know when it will be. I figured an engagement party was an unnecessary extravagance but was persuaded otherwise. Now, having thrown one, I take that back. While great fun, it was also an eye-opener as to the potential hazards of the wedding itself, in that we got shoved from one relation to the next, and didn’t manage a single proper conversation with anyone, let alone with each other.

In fact, I barely saw my fiance. When our friends and family had gone, we sat at on the floor, eating the cupcakes someone had brought us, vowing that there would be no such divide and conquer policy at our wedding - it would be a day that we’d enjoy together.

Debrett's suggests having two parties: one for family (maybe you could have this at the Palace to give the relatives a thrill) and another more relaxed occasion for your friends. A word of caution: all guests invited to the engagement party will expect to be invited to the wedding - and that might present a problem what with all the heads of state and European Royals who will have to be on the list.

I wonder how long your engagement will be? I inflicted a seven-month engagement and a February wedding on my family under the premise that it will be a beautiful crisp winter day, but mainly because I’d quite like to walk down the aisle before my 30th birthday in April.

Last week, when the hostess of a celebratory dinner party in our honour asked if I was remembering to spend time alone with my fiance, I nearly cried. But then I remembered something my brother-in-law to be told me: being engaged is great but being married is even better. I really hope that this is true - for both of us.

"The wedding will take place in the Spring or Summer of 2011, in London. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course.

"Prince William and Miss Middleton became engaged in October during a private holiday in Kenya.

"Prince William has informed The Queen and other close members of his family. Prince William has also sought the permission of Miss Middleton's father.

"Following the marriage, the couple will live in north Wales, where Prince William will continue to serve with the Royal Air Force."

A Buckingham Palace spokeswoman said: "Both the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are absolutely delighted for them both."

Meanwhile the Countess of Wessex said: "I think it's absolutely thrilling. We couldn't be more excited."

Speaking of the royal family's reaction she said: "I think everyone's absolutely thrilled and we wish them all the love and luck in the world."

Mr Cameron was informed of the royal engagement during the Cabinet's meeting this morning and said the news was met with a "great cheer" and with "a great banging of tables".

He said that he had passed on his congratulations to Prince William during a telephone call this morning.

He described the Prince as "very excited" and said he had told him that the Government would do all it could to ensure the occasion was a great success.

He also hinted that while the wedding will be a public occasion it was still the case of "two young people who love each other" who deserved privacy.

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg and his wife Miriam also sent their best wishes.

"I am thrilled to hear the fantastic news of Prince William and Kate Middleton's engagement," Mr Clegg said.

"Miriam and I would like to send our very best wishes to the happy couple ahead of their big day."

And Labour leader Ed Miliband added: "I'm delighted for Prince William and Kate Middleton and send them my very best for their wedding.

"The whole country will be wishing them every happiness."

Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, 28, is the eldest child of Michael and Carole Middleton, a businessman and former air stewardess.

She met Prince William while they were both students at St Andrews University and have been dating for eight years.

A middle class family Middletons live in Bucklebury, a small village near Newbury, Berkshire, and run a mail-order business called Party Pieces which sells toys and party paraphernalia.

Miss Middleton previously worked in the accessories department of Jigsaw but left the job to join her parents' firm. She has two younger siblings, Pippa and James, who also work for the family business.

She was privately educated at Marlborough College and first came to public attention in 2002 when she was identified as one of three friends with whom William was to share a house while studying at St Andrews.

She is credited with persuading the Prince to continue his studies when he considered quitting as he struggled to adjust to university life during his first year.