wedding dress

On August 14, Kate Middleton and Prince William got all dressed up and went to a church wedding. Unfortunately for the British (and now American) media outlets, it wasn’t a royal wedding and “Waity Katy” Middleton wasn’t wearing white. Kate and Will were attending the wedding of mutual friends, and the whole incident has started a whole new round of engagement and royal wedding rumors.

Hello Magazine (England’s People Magazine) slapped Kate Middleton on their cover and threw in a gushy story about Will’s “sweetheart” who looked “picture-perfect in a cornflower brocade coat and oyster-coloured dress, teamed with a stylish fascinator and matching clutch.” While I think that blue is a lovely color on Kate, the coat looks totally cheap, like she bought the old upholstery and had it made into a cheesy coat. Maybe it was gorgeous in person, but it does not look like quality fabric in these pictures. Anyway, Hello also had this one frothy little observation from an “onlooker”: “If Kate dropped behind William for a second to greet a friend, he looked anxiously around until he found her gaze.” Oh, for the love of biscuits. ABC News has the groom telling Prince William, “You’re next!” Mm-hm.

Meanwhile, a new “report” is spreading through Britain. It’s rather lame, and I have no idea where it originated. People are now claiming that Prince William and Kate Middleton have an “understanding” that they will get married in 2011 or 2012. According to random sources, “Royal officials are said to be concerned that William needs to be established as an individual working royal in his own right before he is engulfed in the same way his father Prince Charles was by his marriage to Princess Diana, and believe delaying the engagement announcement will give him more time to do so.” These sources also claim that “It is now accepted among senior members of the family that William and Kate will marry. They are totally committed to each other. In the future it is hoped that Kate will play a supporting role, rather as the Duchess of Cornwall has for the Prince of Wales.” Uh… so Kate’s going to wait around for a decade to get married, and then once she’s married, she’s only going to take a “supporting role”. Puh-lease. I hope the Queen tells Kate (again) to get a real job in the meantime.

It’s not that I don’t think Kate will wait around for however long it takes. It’s just that I don’t think they have any kind of “understanding”. I think William likes Kate because she’s available, she drops everything for him, and she doesn’t pressure him to do anything or make any kind of promises. I know a lot of people who think Kate is the bee’s knees and that she and William are going to get married and have bald royal babies and all of that. I just think that Prince William would rather dither and string her along. I really think William is waiting for her to dump him, so he can move on. Am I wrong? Many reports seem to focus on how Kate looked very “relaxed” at the wedding last Friday, I guess assuming that she wouldn’t seem so relaxed if she thought William wasn’t in it for the long haul. That’s a good theory, but I have a competing one: perhaps Kate looks so relaxed because after eight years of waiting, she’s learned how to act for the cameras.